Y’all know I love talking about being single and preparing for marriage here on the blog. But what about when you’ve actually found a guy that may be a potential option? Just because he is a Christian doesn’t make him husband material. And just because he is good for someone else does not mean he is good for you. So how should you determine if you should say “yes” or “no” to his date proposal? I’ve made a list of 4 questions to ask before you begin dating a guy!
Questions to ask before you begin dating
1. Does he love Jesus?
This is kind of a simple question, but it is oh so important. And it goes beyond asking if he is a Christian! There are so many guys that say they are a Christian, but really don’t walk the talk.
So, let me ask you again. Does he really love Jesus? With all of his heart, soul, mind, and strength (Luke 10:27)? How do you expect him to love you like Jesus if he doesn’t even truly love Jesus?
Look at his fruit. Does his life show that he really loves Jesus? Does everybody know it, and does he try to share that love? Or does he love himself more?
2. Does he push you closer to Jesus or farther away from Him?
Most guys will lead you closer to themselves than they will to Jesus. But I believe that a husband’s highest priority is to lead his wife closer to Jesus. He is to steward her heart well and encourage her in her walk with Jesus.
Read: Ephesians 5:22-30
It may be a little bit difficult to answer this question if you haven’t known the guy long. I would encourage you to get to know him as a friend in this case before you begin a serious relationship. It’s highly valuable and sets a great foundation!
But once you know the guy well, ask yourself who he pushes you closer to: himself or Jesus. When you spend time with him, do you feel like you are drifting away from God?
I’m not saying he is solely responsible for your walk with Jesus, because that is your responsibility. However, he should be encouraging you in your walk with Jesus, and displaying his own, with you and apart from you.
3. What is his reputation?
This can tell SO much about a guy! Everyone that knows this guy has an opinion of him. So is it good or bad? How do people view him and his actions?
Do they view him as responsible or reckless? Gentle or rough? Loving or hateful? God-fearing or sinful?
I think you probably get the point. I highly suggest you get to know the people that are closest to him- his best friends, pastor, youth leader, coach etc. Anybody that would know him well enough to determine the kind of guy he is.
Another think to watch for is how people talk of him. Listen to little comments. When he says he is going to do something, are they all content knowing he is going to keep his word? Or do they tease him because they know he won’t?
One more thing: look at the friends that he hangs out with. That is probably a good determiner of the kind of guy he is. Your vibe attracts your tribe, and he obviously chose these friends.
Oh, and what is your opinion of him?
4. Does he have the qualities you are looking for in a future husband?
This is huge! If he isn’t a guy that you would marry, why date him?
Again, it may be difficult to know all of this if you don’t know him well. If you feel comfortable, you could even ask somebody close to him about these qualities. Hey, it would save a lot of heartbreak later on if you decided to go out with him!
But if you know him well enough, does he truly have the qualities you are wanting in your future husband? If you aren’t sure, look at the fruit he is producing. I think you might be able to tell a little bit. Does he love others? Does he have a job? That could be a sign he is hardworking.
If you aren’t sure what you are even looking for in your future husband, you can read this post I wrote earlier this year, 8 Qualities to Look for in Your Future Husband.
And if all of the other questions had “yes” answers, you can always learn more about his qualities by getting to know him more by going on a date 😉
While you are asking yourself these questions, don’t neglect praying about your decision! Prayer is such an important tool. God could show you that he is not the one even if you were able to answer yes to all of the questions above. Asking other people to pray with you is also wonderful!
I hope that this post helped you some in determining if a guy is good to date or not! Remember, even once you are in a relationship, guard your heart. Just because all of the answers to these questions were yes does not mean he is your future husband.
And if all of the answers are no, remember that you can trust God with your love life.
What do you think the most important question was from this list? Would you add any? I’d love to connect with you in the comments!