Any type of heartbreak or breakup is hard. It truly is. I mean, think about it. God did not create us for broken relationships or hurt hearts- He created us for intimacy. But when sin entered the world, hurt did as well. Thankfully, God is still with us to comfort and help us navigate relationships. Today I want to share with you 8 ways to heal after a breakup!
But first, I feel the need to be completely transparent with you- I’ve never actually been through a breakup, at least not in the way it normally is portrayed. I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’ve talked to guys that just never lead to dating relationships, but we were close enough that ending the relationship hurt. Also, I’m an enneagram 4 and feel things really deeply, haha.
So today, these tips are coming from how I got over guys that hurt me and relationships that ended that never quite made it to the dating stage. And of course, from prayer and God’s Word. I pray they encourage you!
8 Ways to Get Over a Breakup
1. Cling to Jesus
This has to be my biggest tip. After a relationship I was in last fall, I truly learned how to cling to God. He was what got me through the ending of the relationship and all of the emotions and questions afterward.
Don’t cling to your best friend, your mom, a guy, or anybody else that gives you temporary comfort. Those are all good things, but they were never meant to satisfy you. Cling to Jesus.
Spend time with Him, pray all day (He’ll give you the strength you need when things feel hopeless), and just become best friends. I am so much closer to God because of the ending of that relationship all because I truly clung to Jesus.
This is another thing that helps me so much! I go to college 45 minutes away from my home, and I commute. Using those times to worship God when my heart feels broken is priceless.
Worship Jesus. Not only is He so worthy of our praise, but worshiping Him helps us to focus on His faithfulness, who He is, and what He can do.
Here is my Spotify playlist that is on repeat right now!
3. Let Yourself Feel, But Don’t Stay in Your Feelings
I think it is so important to let yourself feel and not stuff it all deep down. But also you need to get back up again. Do the things you love and spend time with people that push you closer to Jesus. Serve Jesus.
You will never heal if you don’t feel. But you also won’t heal if you don’t move on.
4. Remember God
If you’ve been a long time reader of my blog, you know I’m a huge fan of remembering God’s past faithfulness. Y’all He is so good. Remembering what He has done in the past is helpful in trusting Him for the future. This is so important when healing from a breakup.
I was reading Psalm 77 last night and wanted to share part of it with you. I highly encourage you to read the whole chapter!
“And I said, “This is my anguish;
But I will remember the years of the right hand of the Most High.”
I will remember the works of the Lord;
Surely I will remember Your wonders of old.
I will also meditate on all Your work,
And talk of Your deeds.
Your way, O God, is in the sanctuary;
Who is so great a God as our God?”
Oh, and I highly encourage you to read Remember God by Annie F. Downs. It is SO good!
5. Surround Yourself With Good Friends
This helps me so much when getting over guys! Having somebody to talk to about everything, or just to have fun with to forget about everything for a little while is so special.
Iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17). I pray that you will find friends that can help you through the tough times by relating and pushing you closer to Jesus.
And I know this isn’t what culture always teaches us, but family can be great for this. Seek godly community wherever God is leading you!
6. Have a Mentor to Talk To
Find an older, wiser godly woman that you can talk to about what is going on. If you’re anything like me, you need somebody to help you process it all, as well as remind you why you broke-up in the first place (it’s easy to go back to what wasn’t good for us, isn’t it?). Or if you didn’t initiate the breakup and you still don’t know why it is happening, having a mentor to encourage you and speak life into you is so important.
If you’re reading this and aren’t going through a breakup, I highly encourage you to find a good mentor now. Not only will it be a blessing in this season of your life, but you’ll have a mentor for when you go through harder seasons. It could be your mom, somebody from your church, a youth leader etc.
Journaling helps me to sort out my thoughts and process what I’m feeling. I highly encourage you to give it a try! Whenever you just feel overwhelmed, pull out your journal (it doesn’t have to be fancy) and just write it all out. I always feel better. I also like to include prayers within my entries just to keep my focus on Jesus.
If you have tried journaling and don’t feel its for you, that’s okay! Find what helps you process your feelings.
Please don’t be afraid to hope again. God will be with you every step of the way!
I truly hope that these tips encouraged you! Breakups are no fun, but I promise that if you cling to Jesus and allow Him to heal you, you will come out a much stronger person than you were before.
I’d love to hear your thoughts below! Have you ever been through a breakup? How did you heal?