Recently, a friend of mine was feeling unseen and unloved. My heart broke for her. Although I felt hurt that she did not feel the love I had shown her, I know that I’ve felt the same way before.
Maybe you have too.
Maybe you’ve been surrounded by people, but felt more alone than ever. You may have felt like nobody wanted to be around you or that they found you annoying. While I don’t want to discredit your feelings, and I am not in your shoes, I am sure that is not the case!
Today I want to tell you what I wanted to tell my friend when she felt unseen and unloved. I pray that it encourages you and gives you a new perspective!
When you feel unseen and unloved…
Remember you are so loved by your Savior
You truly are. Listen, you are SO loved by the God that created the stars and your heart.
You cannot look to this world to find love. I know we so often do, but this world is broken. It is full of sin and hurt, and is so imperfect. You can’t look to something so messed up to fulfill a need for love that only God can fill.
Let me repeat that: the love you’re craving can only be fulfilled by God.
Yes, the love of safe people is wonderful! But God’s love is greater than that. He died so that you could spend eternity with Him! And that brings me to my next point…
Remember Whose you are
You belong to God. He has taken you in and called you by name. Like I just mentioned, He died so that you could spend eternity with Him, if you have put your trust in Him.
Your identity is not found in this world, in how many likes you get on Instagram, in how many people talk to you, or even in how many friends you have. It is found in Jesus! Which is freeing if you really think about it. You can stop trying so hard in this crazy world!
I feel like I could stop now and you would have the tools to fight your insecurities. I mean, if God loves you, does it matter if you feel unloved by people? And if you are God’ and belong to Him, does is matter if you feel unseen?
But I know this world is hard, and I want to give you a few more actionable steps that can help you remember these first two steps!
Focus on what you can do for others
I mentioned this many times in my series on being single. It is so hard to focus on yourself when you are focusing on others!
I think that is because Jesus made us to serve, ya know? (Mark 10:45) And I really don’t think He meant for us to focus on ourselves all of the time.
So when you are feeling unloved, go love others! The devil wants you to feel unloved and sulk in that. But if you turn that around and go love others, then you just defeated him!!
Go make sure others are feeling loved! Initiate conversations and be genuine in compliments.
Also, when you feel unseen and like nobody wants to be with you, make sure nobody else feels that way. Again, when you do that, you will be defeating the devil’s plans!!
Make sure that everybody else feels seen. Go talk to the girl in the corner or text a friend you know feels lonely. Its the little things, sometimes!
Write verses on notecards
This point is so good! Memorizing verses is like putting on a shield. Whenever you are tempted or feel insecure, you can repeat those verses (or read them!) and it has the power to change things (Hebrews 4:12).
To start, write some verses on notecards and read them over and over. Come back to them when you feel like nobody loves or sees you. Eventually you will start to memorize them and you won’t even have to read them! Scripture is powerful, y’all.
Here are some awesome verses you could write down, but I also encourage you to find some on your own!
“The Lord has appeared of old to me, saying:
“Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love;
Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.”
“The Lord your God in your midst,
The Mighty One, will save;
He will rejoice over you with gladness,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing.”
“For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
“Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.”
“Since you were precious in My sight,
You have been honored,
And I have loved you;
Therefore I will give men for you,
And people for your life.”
Surround yourself with people who do love you
This is important! I totally stand behind the first four points that I’ve talked about. There are so many times we feel unseen and unloved, but it’s because of our self-centeredness and perspective.
But there are times when you may be in an abusive group of friends or relationship. And maybe its time to get out and find some friends who truly love Jesus and you!
You are worth more than toxic relationships, and if you are in one, you need to pray about what to do! God may have you in that situation for “such a time as this” (Esther 4:14), to show others His love, or He may be ready for you to leave the friendship.
I have a feeling, though, that if they are hurting your relationship with God, that it may be time to leave.
But also, if God wants you to stay to be a witness, it is still important to surround yourself with godly friends that push you towards Jesus. You may find those at church in youth group, college group, or young adult Bible studies. Pray about it. God is faithful!
I hope that these tips help you to feel seen and loved. You are so beautiful and so special! Don’t believe otherwise. Jesus gave His very life for you.
What was your favorite tip? Would you add anything to the list? I’d love to hear from you in the comments!
With all my love,