Finding our fulfillment in Jesus is a struggle in every season of life. I know I struggled with it when I was single, which you can read about here. Now that I have a boyfriend, I still struggle with it. It is so easy to try to find our fulfillment in other things in this world, even though we know everything else comes up short. So for all of you girls that are in relationships, I wanted to write about how to find your fulfillment in Jesus instead of your boyfriend. I hope it’s helpful, and honestly, I think you could apply these tips to your life no matter what season you’re in!
How to Find Your Fulfillment in Jesus
1. Spend time with Jesus
How can we expect to find our fulfillment in Jesus when we aren’t even spending time with Him?
This may sound really basic, but I think it’s something we all really overlook. I’m definitely talking about myself too right now! We try to find something that will quickly fix our issue when spending time with Jesus is all we really need, most of the time.
When I’m feeling insecure about my relationship or when I notice that I’m finding my fulfillment in my boyfriend and not God, this is the first thing I reflect on: am I spending enough time with Jesus? A lot of times the answer is no, so this is where I start. Surrendered at the feet of Jesus, asking Him to fulfill me and putting Him first in my life.
2. Identify your purpose in life
I think I’ve discussed this point like 974573 times on the blog already, but I think it is SO important. Your purpose in life is the driving force behind everything you do. Although your relationship may be a part of God’s plan for you to live out your purpose, it is not your sole purpose.
So what is your purpose? To know God and make Him known. To seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness (Matt. 6:33).
When your purpose is not clear, it is easier to see your relationship as your purpose. When this happens, you will likely try to find your fulfillment in your boyfriend. Knowing your purpose and wholeheartedly chasing after it truly helps you to find your fulfillment in Jesus.
3. Create healthy boundaries
In short, don’t make your boyfriend your obsession.
Or in other words, don’t make your whole entire life all about your boyfriend. He should be a priority, but if you were to break up tomorrow, you should still have a life to fall back on. Even while dating, you should pursue things you enjoy, spend time with friends that build you up, and chase after the dreams God has given you, whether that’s academically or career-wise.
And most importantly, set boundaries so that you can spend time with Jesus. If you’re texting or FaceTiming when you really should be reading your Bible, tell him you’ll talk to him in 30 minutes. A godly guy will be more than happy to give you the time!
4. Keep your relationship centered on Christ
This one is HUGE. When you’re chasing after Jesus together, it is so much easier to find your fulfillment in Him rather than in each other.
Right now, my boyfriend and I are going through The Sacred Search together. I highly recommend it! We’ve had some really great conversations that have helped us determine the “why” in our relationship, and its also helped us keep Jesus at the center. So it’s important to read the Bible or do a book study together!
5. Stay grateful
When I asked my Instagram followers how they find their fulfillment in Jesus and not in their boyfriend, someone mentioned that it’s important to be grateful.
I thought it was interesting, but the more I thought about it, I realized it was true. Gratefulness affects all areas of our lives. I find when I’m grateful, I focus on what really matters in this life. And being grateful pretty much forces you to see the good in your relationship, which in some crazy way helps me to let go of trying to find my fulfillment in my boyfriend and allows me to just enjoy being with him.
Also, a lot of times when you are finding your fulfillment in your boyfriend, it’s because of insecurity. Focusing on the good parts of your relationship and being thankful can help put everything in perspective. I’m not saying to ignore red flags, but no relationship is perfect.
6. Be intentional
All of these tips can for sure help you, but you have to be intentional with them. You have to put in the effort and wholeheartedly seek to find your fulfillment in Jesus. It’s definitely not always easy, and I’m still working on it as well. But it’s definitely possible and so worth it.
I hope this blog post encouraged you! Are there any other things that you do to make sure you’re finding your fulfillment in Jesus?
With all my love,