Hi friends! I am SO excited about this post! If you follow me over on Instagram, then you’ve probably heard me talk about this new book, Savoring Single. It is amazing and I wish every single person everywhere could read it. It has truly challenged me to view singleness in a positive light, and not see marriage as my “purpose” or “main goal” in life. I was made for bringing glory to God’s name!
With all of that being said, I got the chance to interview the author, Shelley Black, and I just love her answers! I know you will too. So I wanted to kick off my Singleness Series with this interview!
The Interview about Savoring Single
1. First off, could you please introduce yourself and tell us a fun fact?
Shelley Black, here. Just your average 34-year old, Jesus loving, wanderlust traveling, Southern girl, preacher’s kid that’s still single. Yes, my dad told me to sign up for E-harmony. Yes, I tried it. But I guess we know how that went (smile). I simply adore all things sugar, prefer my coffee iced and have never loved life more than I do today.
2. Why is the message of “Savoring Single” so important to you?
I was raised in church, and yet I felt totally under-prepared for this season in all the ways that mattered most. I get it. The whole single topic can be super tough, navigating through legit hurts, raw emotions and real struggles. On top of that, most youth pastors are already engaged or married, and though it’s a tough one to admit… saying “I do” seems to erase the memory of being single much like a momma whose pains of childbirth fade once looking into the face of her little miracle.
So, I spent a ton of years wandering in a wilderness simply because I didn’t know how to find my own way out. We do walk out our own personal relationship with Christ, hearing His voice and following His leading, but having someone to help disciple me into maturity to hear His voice clearer and obey His leading truer has made all the difference. And that’s a huge part of what I hope the “Savoring Single” message brings to the girls who are impacted by it.
3. How did you go from desiring a guy to actually “Savoring Single”?
The root of desperately wanting to be in a relationship was less about the fact that I wasn’t, and more about my deeper need of knowing God relationally. Being in church all those years provided me a lot of knowledge about who He was, but in my heart, I was disconnected. I sought relationships to affirm my significance, so my soul state was chronically depressed. But when I found my significance in Christ, truly, all those needs that went unmet for all those years, were satisfied in knowing and being known by my Father.
4. Do you still deal with the strong desire to be married?
I whole-heartedly believe that marriage is God’s idea and a beautiful gift for our human experience. I believe I will get married and that a husband is part of God’s plan for my life, but I am ever thankful that “I found the one whom my soul loves” in Christ, first. I am happy to spend the rest of my life cultivating my love for Him, whether or not a husband ever comes along.
5. How did your book come to be?
I laid down to take a much-needed nap on a day off from my high-demanding job, only I couldn’t sleep. Words begin to flood my mind, to the sound of my own voice, as if I were reading to myself. As I heard the message, I urged myself to get up, pull out my laptop and start typing the thoughts that were coming. This happened every time I tried to sleep for a straight two weeks. I must say, work was a struggle for my lack of rest, but God birthed a message in me that I had no idea was coming. I never dreamed I’d write a book. I dabbled in writing short stories and poetry… I mean, what love-sick teenager doesn’t pen some work after reading poetry in high school? But an actual book, this was quite a surprise, but like all the adventures my life has enjoyed, I rolled with it and I am so glad I did!
6. What is your favorite part of the book and why?
I love the devotional prayers between chapters. Scripture gives us such great language to help form the words that are so often hard to find that truly express the depth of longing in our hearts. Prayer can be stoic and cold to the one not yet warmed by His affection, distant to the one not yet near, and hopeless to the one who hasn’t yet seen the fulfillment of many attempts to connect. But when we breathe back to Him the words He first spoke, it’s like electricity to our faith as His words bring life like He promised they would.
7. If you could go one place to speak about your book, where would you go? Why?
Every church in America, simply because that’s where I was and was still so lost. That’s where maybe you are, praying for the same relief I was to the unending loneliness and pain of constant rejection because “single” has labeled us in a way that overlays every other grasp for connection. I love the local church! Like marriage, it’s totally God’s idea, but by the statistics of how many under 30’s there are and how few are in church… I think as a body, we’re missing a vital part of who we’re supposed to be together because we’re missing those who have left to find themselves in the world. The world doesn’t have the answer, because in God lies the fullness of love, wisdom and knowledge, sometimes we just need a fresh introduction and renewed perspective.
8. Any closing thoughts or something you’d like to add?
In this with you girl, Shelley
Review on Savoring Single
Are her answers not the best?? I just love how passionate her love for Jesus and this message are. And her book is full of so much more wisdom!
You know how a lot of books on being single talk about preparing for marriage or how to be “wife material”? While those can be awesome topics, Shelley talks about how to actually thrive as a single girl- when marriage isn’t in sight and you don’t know how to get past all of the confusing emotions.
Shelley feels like a mentor that is meeting you right where you are at and holding your hand. It’s full of relatable stories, beautiful prayers, and practical advice.
Ahh I just can’t recommend it enough! Do yourself a favor and pick up a copy. Did I mention it is under $10??
As I mentioned earlier, this is the first part of my Singleness Series, and I am SO excited! It’s going to be good, y’all. I’ve had all of this on my heart for a while and I can’t wait to share it with you. So come back next week, and we’ll be talking about how to actually guard your heart, because you’ve been told to do so often, but you’re not sure how, right? At least I wasn’t.
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See you next week,