I’ve been working hard at becoming content as a single girl lately. I know it is so important, and 1 Timothy 6:6 says that godliness with contentment is great gain. In my own life, I know that I have more intimacy with God and make a greater impact in this world when I am content. I’m not distracted by my desires, and my focus on God’s plan for my life is at the forefront of my mind. But a question that I’ve often wondered is this: Is it possible to desire marriage and still be content as a single?
In short, I think the answer is yes.
But like most things in life, sometimes it can be more complicated than that. How can you desire marriage in a healthy way without it becoming an obsession? Is it even possible? What does contentment look like?
Today, I wanted to sit down and hopefully answer this question for you! However, instead of answering it in one long answer, I’d love to share some tips, truths, questions, and encouragement so that you can form your own opinion.
Staying Content While Also Desiring Marriage
Is your desire an idol in your life?
This is huge. If your desire to be married is an idol in your life, then it is impossible to be content. Just being honest!
Let me ask this question a different way: Is your desire for marriage larger than your desire for God and to do His will?
Our purpose in life is to seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness (Matthew 6:33), and obsessing over marriage is not doing that. You can’t live out your purpose if you’re being hindered by a desire that God may or may not fulfill.
What does being content look like?
First off, I highly recommend you read the blog post How to Become Content as a Single Girl. I think this whole post will make more sense when you know how to be content.
So now that you’ve read the post, do you know what being content looks like? Do you think you could desire marriage while finding your fulfillment in Christ and being grateful?
Chances are, you totally can!
Do you truly trust God?
I think this is a huge indicator of whether or not you can be content and desire marriage. If you truly trust God with your life and trust that He has your best interests at heart, for your good and His glory, desiring marriage is okay. You know that He may or may not give you this desire, but you trust Him with it. This is a healthy place to be!
And I believe that truly trusting God = contentment.
Also Related: 5 Ways to Truly Trust God With Your Life
Do you have a time table in your mind?
This goes off of the previous question, but if you have a time table in your mind and think you should be married by 25, you are not trusting God and you will not be content. You can’t be content and desire marriage while expecting God to work by a certain birthday. He has his own time table, and honestly, it’s a lot better than ours.
Some people say they trust God, but when they reach a certain age, they get impatient and upset that they aren’t married. So I wanted to add this question!
Can you walk out your calling well?
While desiring marriage, can you follow God’s plan for your life?
I think you can, as long as you aren’t believing that your calling in life is to be married. It may be one day, but right now He has something else for you.
I’m thinking that our callings in life aren’t based on relationship status. I think you should be living out your calling while you happen to be married or single. Not married or single while you happen to be living out your calling. Does that make sense? Seeking first the Kingdom isn’t reliant on relationship status. And because of this, your relationship status does not define your identity, but Jesus does!
So if you are living out your calling and following Jesus’ plan for you, I think its okay to desire marriage.
It’s all about surrender.
It really is about surrendering your whole life and heart to God. I think only then you can be content and desire marriage.
You trust Him, are living out your purpose, and have learned to be content, all while hoping that one day, you may get married.
In conclusion, I think it is totally okay to desire marriage as a single person. I also think you can be content while also hoping to one day be married. I think you can trust God while also wanting marriage to be in your future. It becomes a problem when that desire is an idol or distraction in your life.
I hope this post helped answer some questions for you!
In this with you,