I’m sure we have all had somebody ask us if we have found “the one” yet. Or maybe you’ve said you found “the one” or broke up with a guy because he wasn’t “the one.” Our culture can be obsessed with finding their soulmate and that one person that can complete them.
But is that Biblical?
As Christian girls, is there only one guy out there for us that we could have a successful marriage with?
What if we didn’t marry “the one”? Would the marriage be destined to fail?
I have heard different stances and opinions on this topic, which I want to address, but I also want to give my opinion on if there truly is such thing as “the one.”
So first, let’s look at some of the opinions out there. First, we’ve heard that there is only one man that will complete us. This implies that there is such thing as “the one.” However, we are complete in Christ. Therefore, no man can or will complete us. So there is no such thing as a soulmate.
The second view that I’ve heard, which is quite the opposite, is that we can marry whoever we want and it will work out. I also have to disagree with that. If you are a Christian, you will not have a strong Christian marriage with a non-believer. The core component is lost and the spiritual intimacy is not there. Plus, timing and God’s will play a large part in choosing your spouse.
So if there is no such thing as a soulmate but you can’t just marry anyone, then what do I even believe??
Okay, I’m going to try to break this down for you.
There is not one man that you could have a successful marriage with.
In fact, there could be several guys out there you could have a successful marriage with. If Christ is at the center and both the husband and the wife are giving their all, the marriage can and will work. It does not matter about personality or interests. Christ is the key. However, that doesn’t mean that you should marry just any Christian guy.
God chooses “the one” you will marry.
It all has to do with following God’s will. This is the whole point! Are you in constant communion and intimacy with God? He will guide you and make straight your paths when you trust in Him (Proverbs 3:5-6). He will show you who you are supposed to marry.
So in reality, God does know “the one” that you will marry. So if you look at it that way, and not from the perspective that you have a soulmate, then I guess you could say that there is such thing as “the one.”
The man that you marry becomes “the one.”
But what if you feel like you married the wrong person?
You have entered into a covenant relationship before God and you made vows. You may have made a poor choice or you may not have followed God’s leading, but now that you are married, he’s the one. From now on, you have to choose to love and serve like Christ.
Let’s be honest while we’re at it.
There is not a perfect man on this earth. Even the man that God is leading you to or has led you to will not be perfect. At times, you may wonder if you did marry the wrong one. But that’s okay. He may get on your nerves (and you’ll get on his nerves), and he will disappoint you at times (as you will him).
Remember, you are both imperfect sinners that have been saved by Christ, so don’t expect him to be perfect. In marriage, there has to be a lot of grace. When you have to give this grace, don’t think it’s because you chose the wrong man. It’s simply a part of the fall (Genesis 3).
You have to be complete in Christ.
No guy will ever be able to complete you, and expecting them to isn’t fair. You have to spend time with Jesus and get filled up by Him in order to love your spouse. When you do this, you will see your husband as who he truly is- a teammate that God gave to you in order to bring the most honor and glory to His name.
To summarize, there is no such thing as a soulmate and there is not only one man in this world that you can have a successful marriage with. If you have messed up and don’t follow God’s leading in your life, if Christ is at the center, you can still have a good marriage. However, God’s will is always best. He knows the one you will marry and this marriage will bring the most glory to Him. Who you marry becomes “the one.”
And just a disclaimer, I am not talking about any form of abuse or adultery when I say you have to live with your consequences. That’s another topic.
I hope this cleared up any confusion for you! If you still have any questions, comment them below or go to the Contact page to find out how to message me.
So, I’d love to know! Do you agree or disagree with me?
In this with you,