I totally get it. The holidays can be such a tough time being single. Although I haven’t reached the point where everybody’s asking why I don’t have a boyfriend, I still get asked if I have a boyfriend. Never being able to say yes can be depressing.
We as girls long to be loved by a guy. And during the holidays, we would love to be able to share all of the traditions with that special guy by our side.
Sometimes the desire for a boyfriend can cause us to miss the whole holiday. We’re too busy thinking about how fun it would be to see Christmas lights with our boyfriend, and we don’t enjoy it while we’re with family and friends. We’re too busy dreaming about the day when we get to spend Christmas with our boyfriend, that we miss the true meaning of Christmas.
It’s not all about the festive events and activities, it is about the one Event that changed everything- Jesus’ birth.
God gave us the desire to be loved, and He also created relationships. They’re good. But He ultimately created us to have a relationship with Him. Why are we more focused on finding a relationship with a guy than cultivating a relationship with Jesus?
We’re sinful and truly have to work to choose the right things. We have to continually pick up our cross and deny ourselves (Matthew 16:24). Meaning, we have to choose to intentionally sacrifice our desires and follow Jesus, no matter if it feels good.
So how do we do this during the Christmas season, and actually still enjoy it? How do we thrive as a single girl during the Christmas season?
I can’t promise your desire for a guy will go away, but I can promise you that if you do these things, you’ll have a much better, Christ-centered Christmas than if you just allowed your whole season to be a pity party
5 Ways to Thrive as a Single Girl at Christmas
Guard Your Heart (Proverbs 4:23)
This is something you’ve probably heard so many times, especially in church. But y’all, it is SO important. If you’re anything like I was, though, you are wondering what in the world it means to guard your heart. To me, it means to
1) check my thoughts, and
2) set boundaries
Don’t allow yourself to dream about having a boyfriend if it will cause you to long for one. Also, set boundaries for yourself. Don’t watch romance movies if it causes you to sin or strongly desire a boyfriend. Make sure that you also don’t settle for a guy just because you feel lonely.
Focus on Jesus’ Birth
What better way to shift your focus off of your desire for a boyfriend than to focus on the true meaning of Christmas? It may sound simple, but make sure the point of Christmas is Jesus, not the activities or events that you want to share with a guy. Intentionally celebrate Jesus’ birth this season.
Do an Advent Study
As I mentioned in my last post, How to Prepare Your Heart for Christmas + Fun Resources, I think Advent studies are awesome! They prepare you for the coming of Jesus and His birth that we celebrate on Christmas. I encourage you to check out my last post for Advent study recommendations.
It’s hard to focus on yourself when you are doing something for somebody else. I encourage you to serve others this Christmas season. In my post, 18 Ways to Be Generous Whether or Not it’s Christmas, there are some ideas on how you can serve! In fact, I encourage you to serve all year long to keep your mind on Jesus and not on your desire for a boyfriend.
Live in the Moment
Enjoy this Christmas season. Be present with those you love and let them know how much they mean to you. Savor this time as a single girl, because one day our Christmas season may not be so flexible.
Essentially, just live to the fullest in whatever moment or season God has given you, without wishing it away for the next.
Those are my best tips on thriving as a single girl this Christmas season! I’ll be practicing them as well. What would you add to my list?? How do you thrive as a single girl, especially during Christmas? I’d love to hear from you in the comments!
So y’all, I think this is a good time to announce that in January 2018, I will be starting a series on being single here on the blog! I am SO excited. If you have any questions you want answered, or topics you want covered, comment below or go to the Contact page. I can’t wait to hear from you!
Tags : Christmas, encouragement, lifestyle, singleness
Allison, I love this post. And while I know it's written to single girls, it's also valuable for people in long-distance relationships as well. I'm engaged to a man I've been dating for four years, and during a couple of those years we were long distance. I found it hard sometimes to enjoy the holidays as much while he was away, and a lot of your points are applicable to people trying to make the most of their holidays while they can't be with their significant other — I always had to remind myself that although it would have been so fun to have my boyfriend around, that doesn't mean I can't have an amazing time with my friends and family.
Thank you so much!! I can totally see that. Thank you for commenting and pointing that out!
Catherine Hathaway says
This is honestly a good reminder for everybody around the holidays. Christmas is really about one amazing miracle!
Yes!! Thank you for commenting!
Thank you for your faithfulness to share what Christ has placed on your heart. I think it is a much needed reminder for every single girl. I feel most times I do well focusing on Christ, even during the yar, but at times I wish I would at the very least have a close guy friend. Wonderful tips. I will be sharing. In Christ love, Victoria.
Thank you so much for your sweet comment! I definitely understand!
Katherine Deckert says
Very practical post! I am married but I think there was a lot to glean from this for everyone! Thanks for sharing!
Oh that's awesome! Thank you so much for your comment!
Theresa Dickerson says
Love this! Just started my Advent series!
Thank you!! I love Advent!