Single girls, I see you. Mostly because I’m just like you- single and so ready for a relationship. So ready to be fully known and loved by a man. Please know, you are beautiful and your standards are not too high.
It’s so hard sometimes to get on social media, isn’t it? Sometimes it’s not too bad for me, but on nights like tonight, it is. Scrolling through endless pictures of happy couples feels like too much to bear when all you are trying to do is survive this waiting period. It feels like all of those women are posting pictures just to rub it in or something, doesn’t it?
Can I tell you something? Or actually a couple of things. It’s totally okay to take breaks from social media just so that you don’t see pictures of others in relationships. It’s also okay to unfollow people in your life that post pictures that always put you down. It’s your feed and you get to choose what to see!
But it’s also okay to feel. I’m not saying to have a full blown pity party where you feel sorry for yourself, but it’s okay to cry once in a while. It’s okay to talk through your feelings with somebody you trust when you just aren’t okay. You don’t have to be put together all the time. But it is also possible to thrive during this season.
Read: 6 Ways to Truly Thrive as a Single Girl
Please remember this- you are never alone. Never. There is Somebody that fully knows you and fully loves you. I mean, this Guy died to spend eternity with you. What more could you ask for?
As single girls, we don’t always want to hear that, do we? We know Jesus loves us, and it’s the best thing ever! But what we want is a relationship with a guy here on earth, don’t we? Somebody we can go on evening walks with, eat endless ice cream with, and laugh until our bellies hurt with. We want somebody that can tangibly hold our hand through the tough stuff and be the shoulder we cry on when our world feels like it’s falling apart.
Married people tell us all the time to focus on Jesus while we’re single, don’t they? While it’s amazing advice, sometimes it’s just not what we want to hear. Or it’s not who we want to hear it from. I mean, they have their men.
But you know, they are totally right. We were not made to get married. We were not made to fall in love with another person, no matter how perfect they may seem.
We were made for Jesus. Made to bring glory and honor to His name. To know Him and make Him known. Only in this will we find all our souls truly desire.
God made us to rely fully on Him for our eternal satisfaction and joy. We will never find complete and lasting love outside of Him. Nowhere. Even when you find the man you will spend the rest of your life with, you will still have to look to Jesus for satisfaction. Men are only humans.
So maybe, as single girls, we should be using this special and unique, yet sometimes difficult, season of our lives to grow closer to Jesus. If He’s the only One who can satisfy, even when we’re married, I think it’s a worthwhile pursuit.
I just want to remind you that I’m totally speaking to myself right now too. I don’t do any of this perfectly and I mess up daily. In fact, I was struggling tonight with being single, and that’s why I’m here writing this.
You see, even when we are married, our men cannot be our gods. They will never satisfy us completely, as I mentioned above, and we’ll wear them out if we look to them to fulfill us. They were never meant for that. Men are called to be leaders, but not fulfillers of every desire and need we may have.
So let’s wipe our tear-streaked faces and get to work. Kingdom work. Remember, there are so many men out there waiting for godly women that are willing to work hard for a purpose larger than any of us. Right now, are you truly the woman a man you are waiting for is looking for? If not, there really is a lot of work to be done.
Let’s pursue an intimate relationship with Jesus.
Let’s fall at His feet and find the strength we need to live well and wait well.
Let’s get involved in ministry in order to grow His kingdom.
Let’s seek His will in everything.
Let’s become prayer warriors for everyone around us, including our future husbands.
Let’s be willing to do the hard stuff to get to the good stuff.
Let’s honor Him with everything.
And let’s surrender every second of our lives to Him. He knows what’s best, after all.
Only then will we find true satisfaction and love from the Creator of our souls. To Him be the glory.
In this with you & with all my love,
If you’d like to read more about being a single girl, I have a bunch of posts that you can read here!
Tags : contentment, dating, devotion, encouragement, future husband, lifestyle, singleness, trusting God
Hannah R says
I can feel your struggle in your words! Thank you for being so vulnerable! In this with you! x
Thank you so much, Hannah!
This was excellent Allison and very encouraging!
Thank you so much!!
Allison S says
You have such a great way with words! This letter was so inspirational!
Awe thank you so much, Allison!
Hi, I just found this post on my Pinterest and I feel like is something God put to comfort me. I’m 27 right now, never had a boyfriend and never kissed a boy in my life, so you can imagine the other struggle about how people can’t take me serious because of that! They think about me as a child even if I’m a grown-up. I’ve never dated not for lack of opportunities but because all the guys I met didn’t have a relationship with God or worse, left God for world’s pleasures.
I’m not judging them, I know life can be hard sometimes and the appeals shout in our heads but I always wanted a relationship based on God’s Will.
Everytime I see a happy couple is hard but harder is to see a “happy couple” having a relationship with disrespect, cheats, fights, and then I ask myself if it’s worthy.
Don’t take me wrong, but I live in a country with high statistics of feminicide, chauvinism is cultural, and even in church we see men treating their wives like they are nothing, boys leaving church to become homosexual, more girls (beautiful girls) in church than boys. It’s hard to trust and wait in a situation like that.
The only thing that makes me peaceful is knowing that God cares. He cares about everything in my life so that what makes me feel well. And finding this post shows me one more time He’s caring about me. Thank you sister, God bless you.
Thank you for sharing! I’m so glad this encouraged you. God bless!
Joy @ Real World Bible Study says
Thank you for being vulnerable! I’m not so much longing for the relationship – sometimes I am, but not most of the time. But it is easy to feel like there are no others like me, when everyone else is doing the married + kids thing. I’ve got no urgency for married + kids, but it would be nice to not feel like the odd one out among my friends! Thanks for the great reminders!
Yes, I totally get that! That is a whole other thing about being single I would love to write about soon. Thanks for commenting!
Jansell Iris Simbulan says
I love every bit of what you said here, Allison. Thank you for the courage to share this. I am also faced with struggles as a single woman, waiting on God’s best, guarding my heart from anything that may not be good for me and thriving in this season. And it really helps to surrender every detail of our lives in God and trust Him and His timing on everything. Cheers! 🙂
Thank you so much, Jansell!! I totally get it. And yes, I agree! Thanks for commenting!
Oh gosh just the words I needed to hear as I sit here an emotional wreck lol. It’s hard to keep it together at times and you are absolutely right…social media is very difficult. I’m so happy for them but at the same time I can’t help but feel bad for not having it. I’ve prayed about this for years and I know God is showing me things about myself that need work. I pray because I feel guilty for feeling like I need more than God’s love sometimes when it truly is all we need. You really opened my eyes with this post. Thank you for doing what you do. You’re such a blessing to more people than you know. ♡♡ Now I’m going to dive in to more of your posts!
I totally agree! And thank you so much! This comment means a lot to me <3
Rebekah H says
This is exactly what I needed tonight. Thank you for sharing this! It helped my heart immensely!
Oh I’m so glad!! It’s my pleasure!
I love how honest this is. I just got out of a relationship and I totally understand those late nights where you are praying to God asking him to send you your future husband. But after being single for a while I found that my heart isn’t ready for a man yet. I should spend more of my time trying to get ready for him by following God instead of trying to search for him in my instagram followers. I love how you talked about how there is still much work for us to do. This is so important and thank you for sharing.
YES!! I love everything you said. It truly is my pleasure! Thank you for commenting!
Emily Myrick says
Allison – goodness girl, you are wise beyond your years! This is such a great post pointing to how Jesus is the only one who can satisfy!!!! To understand that BEFORE marriage is such a blessing, to your future husband but also to your relationship with God. I think a lot of marriages suffer because they look to their spouse to fulfill the things that were designed to only have Christ complete. I love how you put this into words yet admit it’s hard to live out what you believe some times – and it’s a good thing you’re so wise now because this is a skill we all need throughout our life here on earth waiting for Jesus to come again!
Awe, thank you so much Emily!! This comment means so much to me.
Beautiful post, Allison! Just what I needed to hear.
I’m fairly new to your blog, but I’ll be following along in the future!
Sending prayers your way!
Another Allison Marie 🙂
That is so cool!! Thank you, Allison Marie 😉
I don’t know what to say, but am happy to know that lots of us enjoy singleness for the sake of christ, to seek him, know him and encounter him. Allison am so happy to have found this inspiring post. Am inspired. God bless you , dear
Awe I’m so glad!! Thank you 🙂
Dianne Daniels says
Hi Allison I am totally struck with awe with the encouragement you have shared for single girls. I am happily married and I appreciate everything that you said but what wisdom you have.Young people around the world are looking for fulfillment and many have come to appreciate that a good relationship Jesus is more fulfilling than a relationship with a human being. Would you like to meet some of these young people? Please visit JW.org website all the downloads are free. Young people around the world are enjoying this website. Sharing positive thoughts and scriptural-encouragement is food for the soul. Enjoy!
I just found this post! I really needed this. I just went through a break up not to long ago! I really lost myself after it. I found myself broke. All of my friends have bfs now so I’m alone most of the time now because they have no time for me. Then I lost my grandfather 2020 has been a hard year for everyone. I can’t tell you how much it meant to me to read this post. It remined me of the truth that Jesus never left me. Thank you so much for the wonderful post! I would love for you to check out my website if you get some time. http://www.becomingabetteru.org
Thank I hope everything is going well for you!
I am so glad it encouraged you!! 2020 has been such a crazy year, but I am so thankful that Jesus is our constant. I really enjoyed scrolling through your blog!
Ma Akoaya Bawak Egbe. says
Thank God for using you with such a write up to encourage us. It has never been easy struggling as a single lady.
Some times I feel so strong to go on and sometimes I feel down and broken. However, I pray for grace to Know JESUS better and spend more time with Him.
I thank God that despite all my fears, struggles and disappointments….JESUS has always been there to pull me through.
May God continually use you for His glory.
Thank you so much for your comment and kind words! God is so faithful and good!
Dorcas Gabriella says
To all the ladies of color
I salute you 🥰
I’m really blessed by this and always hope in my savior,true indeed Jesus is the great satisfaction, sometimes I don’t feel that I need any guy to comfort me and other times I do feel so but one thing I remember is the perfect satisfaction and love I got so I rather pour out my love into him the one who knows me,created me, knows my end from the beginning,serving others in obedience of his word.he is out of time,yes life seems long but it’s short for us human,one day we will all gone,so make everyday the best of it as Jesus matters the most,God bless you all,I love you all 🤗🤗
Even though I am only reading this 4 years later I am still immensely grateful for your ministry Allison🙌🏾❤️😊 God is so good, and I see His goodness in you and your works! 🙏🏾❤️ Thank God for your testimony and thank God for you sharing and inviting so many girls and young women and probably older women alike into your life. We can feel and be encouraged through the Word of God you’re sharing with us🙏🏾💕 I am truly blessed, thank you thank you 🙏🏾🤭❤️
Thank you so much for this sweet comment, Laura! It is so cool to see how God still uses these words from years ago.