My boyfriend, Jason, and I have wanted to write a blog post together for a little while! When I asked my IG followers and newsletter subscribers what they wanted to see, there were SO many good questions. We decided to start with a Q&A, but we ended up having to split it into 2 parts. So this first post is kind of a look into our Christian dating relationship, and the next post will be more of a Christian guy’s perspective on singleness and dating.
Enjoy and let us know if you have any questions!
A Look Into Our Christian Dating Relationship
1. Did you pray before meeting Allison?
The easy answer is yes. The hard truth is most people who pray for a relationship or for a future spouse already have a type of person in mind. The mindset and motivation behind these prayers is what will reveal the true heart of the person praying. When I prayed for a Godly relationship, I first had to surrender my ideas and even my desire to get married. I had to get to the point where I was okay with being single, even for the rest of my life. So yes, I prayed for a potential future relationship, but I was content if God did not give me that.
2. What was the first thing you noticed about Allison?
The first thing I noticed, as cliché as it sounds, was just how sweet of a person she initially came off as. As weird as it sounds you can honestly tell a lot about a person based on first impressions. Allison has this calming sweet demeanor that has an almost supernatural ability to put me at ease. The obvious surface level answer to this question is I definitely noticed that she was breathtakingly gorgeous.
3. How did you know that she was the one that God wanted you to be with?
The main indicator that she was the one God wanted to be with would be the overwhelming sense of peace I had when praying about it. This process brings to mind Colossians 3:15 which says, “Let the peace of Christ, to which you were called in one body, rule your hearts. And be thankful.” As I’ve grown in my walk with God, leaning on Him for wisdom and guidance has shown me that God gives His peace to those who seek first His kingdom and righteousness (Matthew 6:33). I had to first pursue God for myself and allow Him to fulfill me.
Related: Is There Such Thing as “The One?”
4. Once God did give you confirmation, how did you pursue her?
Well the first night I met her, I did what any average looking guy would do in the presence of a gorgeous woman- I panicked. I asked her to a concert that was 4 months away (who does that??). But in all seriousness, I tried to be as intentional as possible. Meaning getting to know her first as a friend, all the while looking for Godly qualities as well as red flags. I asked her specifically out on a date, with a specific time, place, and made sure I picked her up even though it was way out of the way so I could meet her parents.
5. Were you nervous about any of the process? Like going on dates or being vulnerable with her?
Yes, opening up was one of the hardest but most rewarding parts of the process. At first we struggled with being open and vulnerable. The biggest hurdle was communication. Once we learned to communicate more effectively, we were better able to trust each other and open up our hearts.
6. What are good boundaries for dating?
Please remember that holiness and purity is the goal, not just virginity. That should guide your thinking and boundary setting. It’s not about what you’re not doing, it’s about why you’re not doing it. Obedience is the goal, not legalism.
Openly talk about boundaries at the beginning of a Christian dating relationship. Honestly, boundaries will be different for every couple because different couples can handle different things. For us, we are able to kiss without going beyond that. We also have an open door policy. If we are ever in a room alone together, the door needs to remain open. Modesty is also a crucial topic to hit on here (more on this in the second part of the Q&A). All this being said, reassessment of boundaries is important as you guys grow closer together.
7. Do you guys do Bible studies together?
Yes, Bible studies have been a crucial part of our growth as a Godly couple. This is an easy aspect of a relationship to pass over but is among the most rewarding time you will ever spend together. Bible studies shine light on topics that aren’t necessarily easy to talk about but are needed to help you both grow closer together and more importantly grow closer to God.
8. What are the top qualities that Christian guys find attractive in girls?
The top qualities that a Christian guy should look for and find attractive are obviously going to be dealing with the character of the girl in question and not necessarily physical attraction. Although physical attraction is an important aspect of dating, it is the most fleeting of qualities. When it comes to the heart, humility (this covers so much), kindness without an agenda, honesty, transparency, and selflessness are all important.
“Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”Proverbs 31:30
9. How do you go about talking to the dad?
When talking to the dad, first and foremost always be respectful, get him to talk about things that he is interested in (because who doesn’t like to talk about themselves), and always remember he has the best interests of his daughter at heart.
I hope that you all enjoyed seeing a look into our Christian dating relationship! If there is anything else you’d like Jason to write about, just comment below. I’m sure we can convince him 😉
Edit: you can now read Part 2 of the Q&A: A Christian Guy’s Perspective on Dating!!
With all our love,
Jason & Allison