I get it – when it looks as if no guy is choosing you, you feel like you’re not enough. Like something is wrong with you or you are lacking something that every other girl must have. Have you ever felt like this? It is so easy to go on a downward spiral when you try to figure out why you are still single. Today, I want to encourage you on this topic. I have a few different thoughts that I pray inspire you and maybe even convict you. Let’s just dive right into it!
What does God say about you?
This may seem like such a basic, even cliche question, but if God created us, why wouldn’t we want Him to be the one who defines us? But first, let me say this:
You are not enough without Jesus.
Read that again.
But the good news? You are enough with Jesus.
We can never be enough apart from surrendering our lives to Jesus and allowing Him to shape and mold us into who He wants us to be. But there are some things the Bible says that Jesus says about us and our inherent worth as children of God:
- You are beloved. (Ephesians 2:4-5)
- You are fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalm 139:13-14)
- You are chosen. (1 Peter 2:9)
- You are holy, because of His sacrifice on the cross and your faith in Him. (Colossians 1:21-22)
- You are forgiven because you have made Him Lord of your life. (Colossians 2:13-15)
- You are a new creation in Christ. (2 Corinthians 5:17)
- You are redeemed in Christ. (Ephesians 1:7)
- You are an heir of God. (Romans 8:17)
List adapted from this post.
This is who you are in Christ! In Him, you are enough.
Are you the woman the man you are looking for is looking for?
You are enough in Jesus, but that doesn’t mean that you are perfect.
Jesus wants to sanctify us, set us apart for Him and His good works. Just because we put our faith and trust in Him doesn’t mean that we can sit back and just relax. The Christian life takes hard work. It takes effort to become like Christ. Salvation is by faith alone, but Paul tells us that we need to work out our own salvation (Philippians 2:12) and do good works (James 2:14-17).
A lot of us have/had a list of qualities we want our future husband to have; at least we have a running list in our minds. And that’s a good thing! We need to have standards. Just because a guy claims that he is a Christian doesn’t mean we should marry him.
And the same goes for us! Just because we claim we are a Christian does not mean that a good, Christian guy (the kind you are looking for) should marry you. We need to put the same effort into ourselves that we would expect a potential husband to. This means that we need to work on our character and always be growing to become more like Christ.
How do we do this? By spending intentional time in prayer and the Word and living out our faith among other Christians (including at least a few mature, wiser Christians!). Work on your weaknesses and allow Christ to work in you so that you can be a blessing to your future husband.
So why are you still single?
There are so many reasons why you may still be single. I’m not claiming to know the reason, because I don’t know God’s will for your unique life. It may be because God is trying to teach you something or even because God is still working in your future husband’s life. Maybe God wants you to be single for a while so that you can serve Him more freely with less hindrance. Or perhaps it is because you need to work on your character like we talked about above. Only you and God can determine that, in prayer and maybe even council with an older, wiser Christian.
God doesn’t promise marriage, but He does promise an abundant life (John 10:10), and marriage may just be a “not yet” in your life.
Whatever the case may be, know that you are enough in Christ. But don’t let the beauty of salvation end there – at just putting your faith in Christ. Let it spur you on to good works and becoming who Christ has created you to be!
With all my love,