A couple of weeks ago, I asked some questions on my Instagram story about being single. One of the questions was “What do you think is the hardest thing about being single?” TONS of people said it was hard watching all of their friends in relationships while they were still single. I totally get that.
There are times where I am content with my relationship status, but then I see a couple, whether I know them or not, and I become discontent once again.
We can’t just escape from seeing couples! So how do we live with it without becoming jealous or discontent?
I am not an expert at this, and honestly, I don’t think there is an easy answer or perfect formula. But I have learned a lot about this, so I wanted to share some encouragement and tips with you!
First, I want to share some words of encouragement, and then we can get into some practical tips that can help you when all of your friends are in relationships and you’re still single.
5 Truths to Remember
1. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side
Their relationship may look great on the outside, but they could be struggling with sin or many other issues.
Also, relationships come with unique challenges. Just because they aren’t single doesn’t mean that all of their problems go away.
Yes, there are great things about being in a relationship, but please don’t idealize it and create unrealistic expectations in your mind.
2. Comparison truly is the thief of joy
Comparing your life to others zaps all of the joy out of your life. I’ll talk about this later, but you have to see the good in your life.
It is hard not to compare your life to others, but it is so freeing!
Here is a great blog post I found on how to stop comparing.
3. If we didn’t see happy love stories, we wouldn’t have hope
I think I saw this on the Beautifully Honest blog and it is SO true! If our friends or people around us weren’t in good relationships, why would we think it could ever happen to us?
So think of your friend’s relationships as hope 😉
4. Their success isn’t your failure
Just because they’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you’ll never get a relationship. That’s not the way God works! He has a unique plan for each of us and it will come to pass. Seek His will and trust Him.
5. Bitterness is imprisoning
Seeing others in relationships can cause you to harbor bitterness, but nothing is more imprisoning than bitterness. So please don’t become bitter that you are still single! There is so much joy and purpose to be found.
This is a great blog post if you are struggling with bitterness: Verses To Sweeten Your Life & Help You Overcome Bitterness.
5 Practical Tips
1. Pray pray pray
Oh goodness, where would I be without prayer? I don’t even want to know.
Pray for strength. Pray for joy. Pray for contentment. And just pour out your heart to God when you aren’t okay.
Also, pray for those that you are jealous of. This has changed everything for me.
Y’all, prayer changes things.
2. Trust God’s plan
Like I mentioned earlier, God has a unique plan for each of us. Not believing this is robbing you of so much joy and purpose, not to mention reducing the impact God has planned for you.
I love these lyrics from the song New Wine by Hillsong Worship:
So I yield to You and to Your careful hand
When I trust You I don’t need to understand
3. Find the good in your life
Sometimes you just need to stay in your own lane and be grateful for everything in your life. Actually, you should always be grateful (1 Thess. 5:18). Being thankful helps you to take the focus off of what you don’t have, and on to what God has blessed you with.
4. Look to Jesus for fulfillment
You cannot look to your friends, a boyfriend, or anyone else for fulfillment. Jesus is the only one that can fulfill your deepest longings. Not even your future husband can fulfill you or completely satisfy you.
The sooner you learn this truth, the more joyful you will be.
5. Be their biggest encourager
I have found this to be HUGE for me. Be your friends’ hype-man and encourage them as much as you can!
For me personally, I have made it a point to comment on engagement announcements no matter what. It helps me to not become jealous and discontent. I literally had to do this 20 minutes ago because a blogger friend got engaged!
Or when a friend is talking about a date they went on, I try to ask questions and tell them how awesome it sounded.
This tip truly is about rejoicing with those who rejoice (Romans 12:15). Wouldn’t you want your friends to be happy for you?
Well there you go! A few things to remember and a few things to do when all of your friends are in relationships and you are still single. I pray it encouraged you!
In this with you,