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5 Ways to Become Content as a Single Girl

5 ways to become content as a single girl

For me, I think being content is one of the hardest parts about being single. I know I’m not the only one! A couple of weeks ago I asked some questions on my Instagram story to all of you singles out there, and a lot of people said the hardest thing for them about being single was being content. That and watching all of their friends get in relationships, which I want to write a blog post on soon!

To be honest, I can’t believe I’ve been a singleness blogger for over a year and I haven’t written about being content as a single girl! I guess because it can be difficult for me.

BUT I’m learning it is totally possible. The context of Philippians 4:13 is Paul telling the people of Philippi that they can be content through Christ who gives them strength to do so!

So I want to share 5 tips with you all today that have personally helped me become content as a single girl. I hope they help you as well!

5 Ways to Become Content as a Single Girl
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How to Be Content as a Single Girl

1. Find your fulfillment in Christ

This is HUGE. You will never be content if you are looking to a guy to fulfill you. Even when you do get a boyfriend and get married! Like I’ve said dozens of times: your future husband is not meant to complete you. Only Jesus is capable of that!

You will always be hungering after the wrong things in life if you don’t look to Jesus to fulfill you. So to be content, and not hunger after marriage or any other earthly pleasure, fulfillment in Jesus is mandatory!

How do you find fulfillment in Christ? By consistently spending time with Jesus. And when you’re upset, lonely, or even happy, you go to Jesus, not the things of this world.

Read: Where to Find Love and Fulfillment as a Single Girl

2. Be grateful

Gratefulness changes everything for me! So many of the Psalms include prayers of gratefulness and thanksgiving. And remember, David’s life wasn’t easy. King Saul was literally trying to kill him. Yet, though all of it, David was grateful.

As single girls, we still have so much to grateful for, even if it doesn’t seem like it at first glance. Just because God hasn’t given us a husband doesn’t mean he hasn’t given us so many blessings.

So be grateful in your prayers, and I also highly recommend starting a gratitude journal! Write a few things that you’re thankful for in it everyday.

My friend Abigail wrote about her “Blessings Journal” in this post!

3. Change your perspective

Remember what your purpose in life is: to know God and make Him known. To seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness (Matthew 6:33). Ultimately, life is not about marriage. Yes, it is a gift from God and He uses it for His glory! But contentment comes from knowing your purpose, and you can live out your purpose right now, even as a single girl. This perspective change can change how you live!

Read: 15 Lies Every Single Girl Should Stop Believing

4. Put the focus on others

Honestly, you will never become content as a single girl if you keep the focus on you and what you’re lacking. I love these verses:

“For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

Galatians 5:13-14

So we are commanded to serve others! And as a bonus, it truly helps you become content.

5. Have some fun!

I like to include this tip in a lot of posts about being single! You don’t have to be in a relationship to have fun. It all depends on your attitude! So go on trips with friends and family, try new restaurants, go skydiving if that’s your thing (I’ll just cheer you on from the ground 😉 ), and make memories.

If you live your single years well, you will look back on this season with such fondness.

Oh! And I recently found an amazing singleness blog, and I enjoyed this post: “I Can’t Do That Because I’m Single”: Encouragement for When Your Singleness Feels Limiting.

Go live and have some (God-honoring) fun!

Does being content as a single girl mean that you won’t ever get married? Of course not! You can be content and available, simultaneously. And honestly, good guys would rather a girl that’s content, not desperate.

You don’t have to push marriage out of your mind to become content. It just makes your single years, however long they are, more meaningful and purposeful!

So I hope this post encouraged you! How do YOU stay content as a single girl?

In this with you,

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Allison Marie

Hi! I am Allison Marie, the creator of this blog! I love Jesus, being a wife and mom, trying new restaurants, and tea lattes. To read more about me, go to the “About” page!

7 responses to “5 Ways to Become Content as a Single Girl”

  1. Hannah R Avatar
    Hannah R

    Contentment in singleness is definitely something I struggle with! Thank you for the encouragement! x

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    1. Allison Avatar
      Allison

      Totally get it! You’re so welcome!!

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  2. Caitlyn Avatar
    Caitlyn

    Oooh, this is SO good. I definitely need to be more thankful and have an attitude of gratitude in my daily life. Thanks for these reminders and for cheering on all of us single girls! God shines through you girl. 🙂

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    1. Allison Avatar
      Allison

      Aw girl, thank you so much!! This comment made my day ☺️

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  3. James Wesley Avatar
    James Wesley

    Maybe it’s just me, but I wonder about some of the ideas Christians have about “contentment.”

    The desire for love/romance/marriage/sex/children etc. is very common, and I believe it’s just a normal part of the human experience for many, perhaps most, people.

    If you’re single, you hear people pontificate to you about “contentment” all the time. You mention Philippians 4:13. In Philippians 4:12, when Paul reminds us to be content in whatever state we’re in, he’s referring to our ultimate contentment in God. There’s no requirement to force ourselves to be happy about every situation. Having and expressing the desire doesn’t make you weak. Admitting and expressing frustration and loneliness doesn’t make you weak. It doesn’t make you a bad Christian. And we can’t really purge ourselves of our emotions, can we?

    If I’m hungry and there’s no food immediately around, what am I going to do? Pray for contentment? Convince myself that I don’t actually want food that badly? No. I’m going to try and find food. Is the desire for romance/marriage/sex all that different? We can’t just repress these desires or pray them away.

    A lot of times, singles will feel lonely in their situation. That’s fine. We can’t help that. We can’t help the way we feel. But we can also feel guilty for being lonely because as Christians we have things to be thankful for and we’re often presented with the message that all the good Christians must be “content.” We’re also sometimes told that we have to be “content” before God will bless us with romantic love. This is a popular idea in modern church culture, but we’re not required to be completely satisfied with life, whether we’re married or single. We live in a bad world, where bad things happen and life doesn’t always go our way. We don’t have to repress our emotions or pretend that these situations make us happy. Nor do we have to pretend that these desires are unimportant to us. It’s OK to feel and express sadness and loneliness. We’re not going to disappoint God for feeling emotions that we can’t control anyway.

    Ideas like this imply that your “season” of singleness will end once we learn to properly exercise contentment. Apparently all the married couples somehow mastered this, and reached some pinnacle of contentment that God approved of and rewarded accordingly. As if we can use a formula and reverse psychology to convince God to give us the thing we want. Sometimes married couples will tell you that their story went like this, that God “blessed” them with a spouse once they stopped “idolizing” marriage, or once they “stopped looking.” Cool story. As if that’s some sort of universal rule. The Bible doesn’t mention this weird idea anywhere.

    For some people, the desire to marry can be very strong. Paul concedes that in 1 Corinthians 7, and he encourages those people to take action and get married. He doesn’t beat these people over the head or try to shame them over how “discontent” they are, does he? Nor does he lecture them about waiting on “God’s timing” for some “soulmate” to magically arrive.

    I don’t meant to rant or sound like I’m arguing, but sometimes some Christians seem to have the idea that being “content” means they have to somehow purge themselves of their totally normal desires. You’re not necessarily making an “idol” out of marriage, simply for admitting the desire and taking action to try to make it happen.

    I just find some Christian ideas about singleness/contentment a bit strange sometimes.

    That being said, I do think it’s good not to get the impression that a romantic relationship will fulfill you. That’s a heavy burden to put on another human. And it’s OK to still have a strong desire for one, certainly; we can’t help the way we feel on that score.

    I do appreciate your fourth point. Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 7 that, when you’re married, your interests and attention will be divided. When you’re single, you (generally) have more time and energy to invest in your friends, and in others. This is honestly something I’m kinda dreading if I ever do get married. One of my favorite things about being single is that I can make commitments with somewhat more freedom. If a friend or family member wants to hang out, or needs help, or has last-minute plans that interest me, I don’t have to consult with anyone about my schedule or previous commitments. Generally, I can just go and do it. I know sometimes as a single it’s hard to acknowledge things that are beneficial about it, but, personally, this is a big one for me.

    I still would rather not be single, though, haha.

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    1. Allison Marie Avatar
      Allison Marie

      Again, I agree with most of what you’re saying. I will say that the desire for food and marriage aren’t truly equivalent, as food is required for survival. But yes, it’s totally okay to desire and even work towards marriage. Life is hard and we won’t ever be completely satisfied in this life, but the closest we will ever come is in living out the purpose that God has for us. And yes, marriage isn’t always given when contentment is achieved. I don’t agree with that either. But when I was single, I did work on becoming content because of what Paul says. I believe it is important, even though I truly desired marriage and worked toward that goal.

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      1. James Wesley Avatar
        James Wesley

        Well, yes, you do have the point there! Haha. I certainly don’t need romance or marriage or sex to survive, lol.

        There’s certainly a balance you have to strike, and this can be quite the challenge. I guess we can learn to be content with singleness today, while still hoping for and working toward tomorrow.

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